Beware: The snarks attack at dawn
SNARK is defined as an imaginary animal (of indeterminate makeup) as well as mocking irreverence and sarcasm.
How to use it in a sentence? We just did.
How to use it in an evil tennis ball visual? You don’t say …
Kinder version:
Our favorite imaginary hero, mocking his own glory. The evil tennis ball to end all evil tennis balls. His original snarky form having shown us so much, through the years. Even great legs, when the occasion fits.
Seen here with two of my exes:
*Cow not for sale. *Do not try shapeshifting at home. *Tennis-ball puppies available, make an offer.
The original snark (animal version) having been invented by Lewis Carroll in 1874 or so. You might know Carroll from his explorations of rabbits, holes, eggshells, Alices, puzzles, poetry, being English, etc.
Carroll said any description of the snark was unimaginable. We do know this animal was prey, as others were hunting it in a poem called The Hunting of the Snark. It was probably a vegetarian, therefore, which in my experience means it ate lots of Fritos.
Interesting because that’s what my evil tennis ball eats: nothing but Fritos. The Frito being a salty corn chip favored by all manner of recreational sports product.
You want proof, don’t you? Came to the right place.
Some dip, some dip. His kingdom for SOME DIP.
The evil tennis ball having satisfied both ends of the snarky definition that led this post, in other words. The evil tennis ball having escaped the clutches of a dull, dull week to emerge into a Friday — today — he did not anticipate. “Friday HO!” he howls. “SET ME FREE!”
From the evil that is our cryptic storytelling he will not be released, however. He is a slave here. We bought him (original form) for at least 2 bucks. He ain’t going anywhere.
Besides, he’s safer here. He’s prey to snark attacks all along the Eastern Seaboard. Snark attacks having been documented and dramatized in a forthcoming novel-script by yours truly called SCCAWS. That’s snark combined with JAWS combined with Cape Cod.
Yes, Cape Cod. Martha’s Vinyard or Nantucket, if you prefer. They’re the same. That’s where snark attacks tend to happen: in the cold, preppy waters of Massachusetts.
Where Kennedies live, die, sail, eat lobster — in that order — preferably on the same weekend.
Starring Richard Dreyfuss as a tennis-ball biologist. Robert Shaw as a cranky hunter of those that hunt snarks. Oprah Winfrey as the evil tennis ball’s love interest as well as publicist as well as personal talk show host.
OPRAH LOVES MY TENNIS BALL having sky-rocketed to the top of Oprah’s book list, any day now.
Any day now.
ANY DAY NOW
…
Then, there was this guy.
He has made all the difference.
…
What else?
This else:
Any questions?
— Colin S. Pumpkins
Kicker: I like nonsense, yes I do. I like nonsense, how about you?
Xoxo.